I have read a lot of books on marriage. The funny thing though is that most books on marriage (whether written by a Christian author or not) have very little to say that is actually helpful or even realistic. Most books focus on how to “stay in love” or “keep the flame burning” in your marriage relationship. Let’s face it, if anyone reading this review is married you know of the difficulties that come with marriage and the fact is we cannot sustain our marriages based only on feelings or staying in love. Granted being in love is a very important part of marriage but sometimes people think that marriage is just about this… “staying in love” and when we no longer “feel” like we are in love we think this is grounds for separation or divorce.
John Piper tackles the issues of what true marriage is in his latest book THIS MOMENTARY MARRIAGE. Piper notes in his opening chapter that we (as Americans) have such a low attitude towards marriage that the biblical model actual seems ridiculous to people all around (even Christians). One of his key statements in this book is “Staying married is not about staying in love…It’s about keeping covenant.” He writes, “Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God. Most ultimately, marriage is the display of God. It is designed by God to display his glory that no other event or institution does.” He goes on to show how Jesus displayed marriage by his commitment to the body of Christ (the Church) and the fact that He will never leave her or divorce her. Ultimately what Piper suggests is that if Christians would truly view marriage in this way divorce would be reduced. In addition to the idea “marriage is not about staying in love… it’s about keeping covenant” Piper also spends a number of chapters on headship, fearless submission, raising children, singleness, sex and divorce (this chapter is very insightful).
THIS MOMENTARY MARRIAGE is the best book I have read on marriage for no other reason than John Piper is able to use biblical proofs for every statement he makes (regardless of how outrageous some may sound). I know had I read this book before I got married I would have had a healthier view on what marriage is and would have entered into this covenant relationship much differently. Thankfully by the grace of God I have a marriage that is centered in Christ and is a healthy marriage (since I am involved it is far from perfect). I would highly recommend this book for any married couple or engaged couple. This book will be a resource that will be invaluable to you and your spouse.
Reviewed by Jeff Holton
